Oh crap, what's for dinner?

I'm starting a new feature on the blog, called (yeah, you guessed it):

Oh crap, what's for dinner?

In which I share a quick dinner idea.

Why?

• I hate cooking/coming up with dinner ideas
• I'd rather spend my free time writing/reading v. making up meal plans.
• I'm pregnant...so all I can think about is food and how much I want to eat it, without spending time on my feet making it.

I do not promise that these will be delicious--but they will be fast and right now that's all I really care about--so if you're of the gourmet mind frame, you can just read and laugh. (Not that I don't love eating gourmet food...I just don't want to make it.)

Tonight's dinner plan:
Pita Pizza's
Apples
Salad (the bagged kind...duh)

Ingredients:
Pitas
Pizza sauce (don't get fancy and make it...that defeats the purpose)
Ham
Cheese

1. Turn on Broiler
2. put pitas on baking sheet
3. slather in sauce, cheese, ham
4. Broil until cheese melted

VOILA!

Maybe I should title this...dinner's a toddler can make, because yeah she totally did...minus the sticking it in the oven thing.

PART 4: TTWTPOPW, RR and BS, WP v. WB, WV

Word Verification.

Am I the only nut job who seriously has to type word verifications fifteen times before it publishes your comment??

This drives me semi-insane.

I need to know.

Thanks,
Red

Part 3: TTWTPOPW, RR and BS, WP v. WB, WV

Writer's Pause v. Writer's Block:

I don't think I've ever really experienced writer's block, but more of writers pause--like I'm not sure where to go with my story next.

I'm more easily distracted during these pauses...  I read through all archived posts of every blog on my reader... actually look/update my facebook and check my email compulsively.

So my cure for writer's pause is to get out a notebook.

For some reason it feels less permanent to write in my notebook then opening up my WIP on the computer...that sounds stupid.  It's true.  Maybe it's because I edit and change it when I stick it into my story.  Or maybe it's the fact that I can't check my email while writing in my notebook.  

Anyway next time you get writer's pause--I'd highly recommend it.  Paper is just easier to brainstorm on.

Part 2: TTWTPOPW, RR and BS, WP v. WB, WV

Road Rage/Back Story:

As I was driving to an appointment the other day, I was thinking about road rage, maybe because I was running late to my fasting lab and there was this stupid car in front of me that was having issues staying in their lane.

Anyway I was getting rather irritated until finally I could get away from them.

I usually don't get road rage, my husband does (hey hon--yes I did just tell on you).  I always try to make up some absurd back story for why the person is driving like an idiot--like maybe they're having a bad day--their mom just died of cancer, they have three kids riding in the back and they are all crying because they were really hungry because they had to buy flowers for the funeral or food, and they chose the flowers...(okay, they aren't that elaborate).  Anyway I try and excuse their behavior--to which my husband response in a nutshell is like:  Whose side are you on?

But after I finished my lab, (which involved drinking a bottle of syrup and waiting an hour before I got to use the potty and get my blood drawn)  I wasn't the being the best of drivers.

Talk about blood sugar crash... I only went a block before I realized I wouldn't make it the thirty minutes home.  Anyway I realized how important back story is...for every character in your book.  My exact thought was:  "Maybe that girl weaving in and out of her lane that morning had just had her glucose test done."

I'm not saying you should elaborate and tell us all the characters life long secrets, but you need to know them, they need motivation for their actions, for why they respond to people or situations certain ways.... and maybe for why they are being such crappy drivers that day.

Sometimes it helps to fill out those character questionnaires again after you write your book.  I did this when I was writing the first draft, but I didn't know them as well until after I finished.  Many drafts later I re-did a couple of questionnaires for characters that fell flat and it really helped me get into their heads.

PART 1: TTWTPOPW, RR and BS, WP v. WB, WV

I've had so many blog topics floating around in my head this week:  Top ten ways to piss off pregnant women, road rage and back story, writer's pause v. writer's block, and how I can never do those word verification thingys when leaving a comment...

Basically I'm going to do mini entries because I've just had a billion other things going on this week and it sounds too daunting to really develop each entry.

10 ways to piss off a pregnant woman...boiled into 1 (this might be a reoccurring feature, so I can finish the ways):

1.  Tell me I'm not going to make it to my due date... this implies that you think I'm HUGE and there is no way in heck I'll carry this baby full term.  I'm measuring exactly on track so BACK OFF.

(And yeah I don't know any woman who wouldn't want to have their baby before 40 weeks... but it sucks when the above mentioned people are right and you were too huge to make your due date with kiddo no. 1)

If you're tempted to tell me how gynormous I am...it would be in your best interest to keep your mouth shut.

-Red

Glenda and Willy Wonka (My Contest Entry)

Willy and Glenda (the good witch) Wonka

“Willy, are you a good husband or a bad husband?”

“Teee heee heee hee…” the munchkins’ giggling carried through the window. 

“Gah,” Willy waved his hand in front of his face, sick of the incessant giggling. 

 “You don’t have time for me anymore.  All you do is work, work, work, eat, eat, eat, and spend time with the oompaloompas.  When will it end?”

“Should we get out the eggdicator and see if I’m a bad egg?”

 “I’d rather see the wizard.” Glenda fluttered eyelashes.

“Is there something going on between you and Oz?”

“No,” Glenda turned wiping her eyes.  “But where is the passion, the love?  Where did it go?”

“Maybe it went down the yellow brick road…” he muttered.

“What?” she sobbed.

“Nothing, my scrumdiddlyumptious,”  Willy said placing his hand on her shoulder.  She turned, searching his eyes, looking for the love they’d found so long ago.  Willy caressed her cheek, sending long forgotten shivers down her spine.  She leaned in staring at his chocolate stained lips, wanting that kiss like nothing she’d wanted before—the reassurance that all was not lost, that their love would live on.  He pulled her tightly in his arms, his lips just millimeters away…

Knock, knock, knock.

“Yes?” Willy called with Glenda still wrapped in his arms.

“Sir, it’s the Lollipop Guild, they’ve contaminated the taffy pull again.” An oompaloompa poked his head in the door.

“@#$% munchkins.” 

A contest, a contest ;)

A cute Valentine's contest.  I love this idea--so funny.  Anyway read about it here at Midnight Meditations.

Hmmm... I'll have to be crafty--this could possibly put a strain on my deadline and writing time...but what the heck right?

Deadlines: self imposed and otherwise...

I have this deadline coming up--10 weeks to whip my novel into the best shape I can. (That's like 4 chapters a week...uh...)

BECAUSE I'M HAVING A BABY! Phew, just had to get that off my chest.  

Is this weird that I'm just starting to realize this? I mean come on--I start my final trimester tomorrow...  And yeah my due date isn't until May...but since my last child came at 36 weeks, um I'm kinda feeling like maybe I need to rush things along.

Is this stressing me out?

NO NOT AT ALL!  SHEESH!  WHY ARE YOU EVEN ASKING ME THIS!?!
(wiping copious amounts of frosting off my face)

I'm not sure if it's realizing that I'm going to have another kid around, making it twice as hard to do anything for a while or the fact that I have this deadline...but it's like all of a sudden my brain is shutting down and I can't even fix the next page let alone the next chapter.

Maybe it's because I'm having serious nesting issues today and worked my bum off--seriously when did I care that there were crumbs on the toaster or that weird pink stain on the linoleum...but all of a sudden my eyes were like hyper-critical noticing every freakin' thing...crumbs, peeling paint, un-organized drawers, and all the random dirt, dust, sparkles... it was a long day.

Okay.  I feel better...I guess I'll go stare at my stupid novel again.

Anybody else have an impeding deadline?  Or any idea what to do about it?

When the crap hits the fan

If my life were a novel--next week would be awesome.

You know when everything goes wrong and the main character is seriously struggling and you just have to speed read until the end because things are about to change for the better (unless it's hardcore dystopian or foreign)...I felt like that was my last week.

I know I'm being a drama queen.  My life is really fine, nothing major happened--but it was seriously the accumulation of a ton of little things.

Okay confession, I started to list everything that happened and it was kind of depressing to read, so if you know me personally you can call me up and we can have a good laugh.

Anyway just wanted to say that even though the crap hit the fan* I had a ton of really good things that happened interspersed between the craziness--which made me really glad that my life isn't a novel, because that usually doesn't happen--like my family helped me out A TON, I didn't have to make dinner much this week, some really nice man pushed my car out of the road...and then two other guys did the second time it died,  my friends came over and taught me how to make tostadas the right way and fixed my car with my dad while my husband was at work, things amazingly worked out right and left even when I had given up on them.  So thanks everyone, for the help, the prayers, and the perspective.

Red

* (I know that's a gross image...but my husband always says that when he's telling me an especially crazy day working as an EMT--at least he edits it for me, I'm 100% sure his coworkers wouldn't)


P.S.  I just had to link this post...  so funny :)