Balance

I ran away tonight.  I'm not proud to admit it, but it was Mommy meltdown time.  I shared some choice words with my husband that my kiddos witnessed... about wanting to be treated like a human being--you know actually get to check my email or not constantly be getting something for someone or using the bathroom by myself (it's the little things in life).  Which is okay to talk about, as long as you can spare your family the explosion that goes with it.

So I laced up my shoes, told my husband to put the kids to bed, and I took off.

Taking off might have appeared to be a waddle jog, but it got my heart pumping and my lungs burning, which was key.  I was feeling so ticked.  About everything.  Being a mom is hard.  I just wanted some time FOR ME.

Sometimes you wonder if it's too much to ask to shave your legs every once in a while...

But on my run, I cooled off and realized some things.

I've had this calendar of goals this month, I've been really trying to stay balanced in my life.  About a month and a half ago I was feeling super out of control, like everything was just swirling around me and I couldn't get a handle on anything.

I decided it was time to get some balance.  No I wasn't perfect, but it felt good to be working on things in different aspects of my life.

As the month started winding down, I realized I wasn't near my writing goal, but that if I wrote 1000 words a day, I'd make it.  So I did it.  I wrote and wrote and wrote.I had to sacrifice more time than normal to get this goal accomplished.  I had to stay up later or let more house work go than usual or turn on another TV show for the kids.

Back to my run...  I realized things shifted out of balance again.
When things get out of balance...Mommy melts down.

So even though I'm happy I've written as much as I have...I realize it's not worth getting this out of whack.  I need to exercise, I need to spend time with my kids, I need to clean my house (even though I try to convince myself not to...), and I need to write.

But I need BALANCE.

This next months goals are going to be scaled back accordingly.  And even though I ended up back where I started, with things getting out of whack, at least now I realize what I need to do.

As I finished my run, there was this woman walking up the other side of the street at a super quick pace.  I could hear her cry/yelling something like:  "He just won't listen!  It's like he didn't even care!"  She was so upset she didn't care who heard her phone conversation.  And I wanted to hug her.  I didn't because that would have been freaky-weird and she probably would have maced me or something.

But I knew exactly how she was feeling...and that once she finished her walk, she'd feel a whole lot better.