Thursday, April 5, 2012

I need to get real

Does anyone else out there have over zealous goals and deadlines they push on themselves?  Like finishing their novel rewrite before their birthday or running a half marathon--barefoot...also by their birthday? (Does this scream mid-life crisis to anyone else?  And am I allowed to have one of those yet?)

Okay, okay, confession on the barefoot thing--I'm not that crazy, I wear shoes, but I'm doing the whole minimalist thing... to change my heel striking ways.  (Anyone else read Born to Run and want to be Tarahumara?)

So sometimes I make these lofty goals and then reality sets in.

Like oh wait, I have small children who sometimes make it impossible to write, even though I needed to meet my 500 word goal for the day and edit the crap out of yesterday's 500...

Or wait, I'm not sixteen anymore, so trying to up my mileage 1 mile/week (HA!) in racing flats (Hahahohohehe!) when you're only supposed to do add on 10%/week in distance when transitioning to barefoot form... yeah, it doesn't exactly go so well.

So my ankles have been killing me, my writing has sucked, and I'm totally beating myself up over it.
I've had to stop running to make sure I don't do any real damage. (Don't worry I pulled out my trusty 30 day shred and even after all the exercising lately, it's still hard)  I've had to realize I can't always make my word count goals...

The hardest part about this is realizing IT'S OKAY.  Who freaking cares?  No one has a gun to my head.  I'm doing this for me, and if it takes longer than initially planned--what's the big deal?

So message for today... get real and stop being so hard on yourself.


Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Hunger Games Day Dreams...

I finally saw it... and it was spectacular.  I couldn't believe how much I was on the edge of my seat.  I've read the books, I knew what was going to happen, but I was gripping my chair, my heart pounding, it was intense.

That's when you know it's an amazing story.  It doesn't matter if you've heard it all before, it still gets ya.

So I've been day dreaming, (come on admit it--you do this too) about what it would be like for a story that I brainstormed, wrote, slaved over became a movie--and actually an amazing movie.  How awesome would that be to say 'yeah, that came from my brain'?

I love how I jump to the movie, whether or not I would use any of the pen names I come up with, what I would wear to my book signings etc... before I've even written the book.  But I guess that's why we're writers, we have really good imaginations... now if I could transfer it to what I should be working on, that would be awesome.

And in case you were wondering about what I would wear to a signing:
Scholar Skirt
I love the skirt, the vest/top not so much

Orange Ruffled Scoop Neck Dress
I'm feeling orange today what can I say?

Embrace your inner 50's road trip queen in the Toe the Line dress.  Piped with perfect details, this sturdy chambray doll of a shirtdress will have you cruising down route 66 and leaving a trail of admirers in your wake in no time. The full a-line skirt falls just to the knee from the defined waistline, and a row of oversized buttons rises up the shirt front. Slip it on and set off for the perfect summer getup.
Ooh la la

Sigh.  I love how these are all dresses/skirts, and I'm totally a ts-hirt and jeans person... a girl can dream, can't she?

Oh yes, she can.  

Peace out,

And if you want to daydream too, here's where these super cute outfits came from:


Monday, March 26, 2012

Afraid of the dark

I've been getting out a bit earlier as my runs have gotten longer.  And it's generally darker then I prefer.  Earlier means the sky doesn't yet have a hit of glow about it until I get back.

I know my senses are more alert, I'm on the watch out for creepsters who are lurking in the wee hours of the morning.  I know I'm paranoid.  I live in an insanely safe part of the world, but one can never be too careful.  I confess I run with mace and my phone and I don't listen to music.  

Anyway, it was dark this morning, and I was running along by some enormous bushes.  Giant bushes, the kind where creepsters totally camp out in waiting for me to run by and something jumped out!

The adrenaline rush was amazing for my pace--in a fight or flight situation I'm a little more geared to flight--my arms pumped and my legs flew and everything slowed down... so that I could safely get away from the birds who flew right past my feet, in some kind of crazy mating ritual. 
I couldn't help but laugh as I ran along.   

In my denfense they really crashed through those leaves--loudly and my freak out was much more justified than the one I had when a giant moth flew out in front of me.    

So anyone else out there with a crazy imagination?  Am I the only one afraid of the dark?  

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

When to delete a character...

When do you know you should delete a character?

I agonized over the last couple of weeks whether or not to delete one of my characters, my mc's great grandmother.  A different one I just chopped, easy peasy, cut her out of the story and done, we shall call her Shaye (okay that was her name) was part of a subplot that I was wishy wash about.  I felt relieved when I cut her.

With Grammy I thought well, is she really accomplishing anything?  Surely I could combine her purpose into a different character.  I couldn't really put my finger on why she was integral to the story.  

So I tried to delete her.  But nothing flowed.  I rewrote the opening a couple times and I just didn't like it.  

And then I had an ah-ha moment.  I realized, that yes someone else could fulfill her purpose, but Grams set the tone.    She was cryptic, she was wrinkly and there was just something about her I couldn't recreate in my other characters, something a thirteen-year-old boy couldn't do.  So I fleshed her out and made her matter more.  And I like the opening a lot better, isn't that great when that happens?

So moral of the story: all your characters need a purpose, and if you can't put you finger on it try to delete them, see what happens.

Monday, March 19, 2012

you know you're old when...

There are certain things I loved in my youth that just don't do it for me anymore...

For example:

Milk chocolate
Any food from Sonic
Loud music
Staying up really late
Going to the Mall to hang out
Midnight showings of movies... (okay I've only done that once and it was like last year, cough, cough.  But I realized I was old when I didn't want to do it again)

And today I realized another one.

Running in the rain.

I used to love it, I thought it was so tough.  It gave me some kind of adrenaline rush or something.  But this morning when I woke up at 6:30 (Aren't you so proud of me!  This is week two of being a morning person and I'm still at it!) and it was raining like mad... did I go run in the rain?

Uh... no.  It sounded like the worst idea in the world.
All I could think was:  blisters! wet socks! distracted drivers! slick pavement! soggy t-shirt!

So I turned on my beloved Jillian Michael's 30 day shred and sweat my little heart out.
And now I'm researching treadmills...just in case this spring is extra drizzly.

So what did you love in youth that doesn't cut it anymore?

Friday, March 16, 2012

I hate cooking...

Because sometimes you get this:

Yes that is burned to a blackened crisp
(don't worry... we still ate it, after some minor surgery)

extra extra crispy bacon
flooded icing awesomeness...
not to mention the cookies were disgusting,
I can't remember what I left out,
but they tasted really floury.

So there's the possibility of irreversible damage not only to the food, but to the kitchen as well... the mess we make is absurd.

The older child and I usually make a mess on the counter tops
The younger one likes to mess up the floor.
After she spilled the bag of wheat on the floor,
she proceeded to kick and wave the wheat around  as fast as she could.

I obviously need to re-baby proof the kitchen. 

But sometimes, there is magic, and your blood, sweat, tears, and even prayers* pay off.  And you take this...

Meet the marshmallow fondant...this was literally a miracle.

...and turn it into this:

There is a reason I love writing--there's this amazing button called backspace and this other awesome thing called undo.  You can't really "undo" cooking--when it's gone... it's gone.  And maybe there's something poetic in that too... but for me, it just ticks me off.  

Sometimes you do have to start with a clean slate in writing...but at least the ingredients are free and the house doesn't smell afterward.    

Meet the butterfly my daughter snuck on Grandma's cupcakes...
after I left the room.
My husband thought it was a salamander...
What was he thinking?
It's obviously a butterfly.
Hello, look at those wings.

 *If you were me you would pray that your Mother-in-law's (a.k.a Martha Stewart^2) b-day cupcakes turned out too.  

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

The morning report

Guys, I forgot how magical the morning is...

Seriously, Monday morning I got up, put on the shoes and went out side to see the moon--it was glowing, actually.  Amazing.  I should have taken a picture.  I went outside just now to check for ye old moon again, but alas it is overcast and I'm thinking I should check the weather before I head out on this run.  It just feels tornado-y.   (aka super muggy, strange glow to the sky... all kinds of fun)

I got up yesterday too--just not to run because I have a yoga class Tuesdays (I LOVE it my friend does it free at our church, how cool is that?)--so this is day three of early morning and I love it.

I'm proud of myself... I don't think I've ever truly been a morning person.  When I was in high school I got up extra early to go to this thing for church called Seminary--where we studied scriptures and such... It started at 6:30... let me say that again 6:30!!!!

My dad would come in my room and do a little jig and turn on the light and try to do all kinds of funny things to wake me up, but I would moan and complain and whine and cry and then I would finally get up.

Anyway, I'll suffice it to say, getting up early has never been my thing, but I love it.  I have time to read, write, make breakfast/unload dishes--it's changing my life.


Okay I gotta scram so I can get to it.  Another 2 miles, wahoo!


Monday, March 12, 2012

half marathon

Why, oh why am I up this early?  I'm an at home mom.  I don't have to acknowledged the time change...ever... okay we do, but, you know, like two weeks later.

But here I am ready to start the day... in the dark lonely world.

At least the rest of my family is asleep.

So yesterday I decided it's time.  I need to run a half marathon.  I'm almost embarrassed that I haven't--is that weird? Uh, yeah, probably.  I've run this far--but not for a long, long, long time--that was back in college, but I've never raced at this distance.  I've done the 5-k a ton, a few 10k's, and a load of triathlons, but never a half marathon.  I picked a race date, I made a schedule... so why am I sitting at the computer?

I'm posting this so I have to commit.  I like running, not usually before the sun comes up, but eh, what are you going to do?

So here goes, to the first day of training--a two mile run.

See ya on the flip side,

Friday, March 9, 2012

Tackling the beast

I need to know!  What's your process?

Because I'm back at it.  Yes, I am working on the beast again.  My first novel that I went through like 15 times.  But it just won't die.

I'm going for a complete rewrite this time.
Instead of just rushing through the draft and having to do a million edits, I thought, maybe I should take a look at my process.

So I'm trying to write little by little and I'm sending it to my crit partners (thanks guys!) and edit as I go.  It's really interesting to do it this way, because I'm putting a lot more stock into what I write the first (or second or third) time before I move on to the next section.

And after some thoughts and critiques... I realized I need to delete a character and re-think the plot, again.  I'm only 3 chapters into this thing, so there's not a ton to change--compared to all those times I've gone through the whole thing and then realized I needed to axe someone--but this time, I can see the point of rushing through because it's throwing my momentum.  I feel like 'Crap, now I gotta start all over!' and that's such a bummer, because I actually invested more thought/time into those first chapters.  

I guess I'm still discovering what my style/writing process is, I'm not sure yet.  I'm going to continue the slow way for as long as I can, but (I predict) the nearer to the end I get, more I'm going to want to rush it.

So what do you do?

Do you edit as you go or do you write a-la-nanowrimo....?

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Paula, Paula, Paula

I find it interesting so many people have been in an uproar about Paula Deen having diabetes.  It really doesn't seem like a such a shocker to me.  
Exhibit A.
I think I just got diabetes by looking at this picture.

It seems as though there are two camps on the 'Paula has diabetes' debate.  One side is like, "You go girl, you stay true to your southern roots. Diabetes-smiabetes."  And the other is like "How can you promote all this unhealthy eating when you had diabetes?!?  How dare you make me have diabetes!  I didn't know eating a glazed donut hamburger was bad for me!"

To her credit, she's exercising/cleaning up her diet and looking more healthy--to which I say 'Yay Paula!' because, seriously, it would suck having diabetes. 

Peace out,

Monday, March 5, 2012

Imaginary blog posts

I've been writing imaginary blog posts in my head for the last few months, but I never get around to writing them.  All the time, I'm like 'dang that would be a good blog post...' but I put to much pressure on myself for them to be awesome or something because it seems like too much work or not relevant enough, etc. And I talk myself out of it.

So I'm turning over a new leaf, even if it is utter and complete crap...I am going to write it.  Because I want to.  That's why I blog--or why I should.  I do it for me.

With this new leaf... they'll be more changes round here, so enjoy the changing colors and fonts and backgrounds and whatever until I figure out the direction I'm gonna go.


Friday, March 2, 2012

Dear Taylor

I know, it's been forever since I've written, it's just been so dang c-razy round here.  And I know, I know, I totally missed the world tour... again.  I swear one day I will go, so you better keep dating loads of people so you can have all the new material you need.  Speaking of which, can you please, please, please really be dating Tebow, I know they said your meeting was all business--but come on, you guys make such a stinking cute couple as opposed to all the other wonderful men you've dated.  

see ^ look how precious you guys are.  

Okay, kids are screaming, I gotta jam.

Talk to you soon,

Monday, January 23, 2012

Post soul-ectomy

Hmmm.  I don't even know where to begin.  I'm still recovery from my soulectomy.

In November:
Threw hubby a surprise party:

Went to AZ:

To one of these:

Hung out with these crazy awesome people:

And then flew home and BAM it was December:

Partied with them:

Celebrated this (Not my house, but this one did have 27 inflatables):

Celebrated seven years of this:

And Shabam--January:

Been doing a lot of this (still don't look like that):

Hubby started new school.  Online for now.  (We love having him home, when we can actually see him.  Keeping the kids/myself out of his hair = not so fun).

Trying to redecorate cheaply with Christmas dough:

Sewing drop cloth pillows

 Potterybarn inspired pillow, I love how this one came out :)

 A ruffle pillow

 Painted this and hated it, repainted it multiple times

 Used freezer paper to make stencils for pillows

 Spray painted said pillows...

 Hubby showing me up on the sewing machine

I think my painting/pillows came out pretty good (FINALLY):

Caught up with old friends:

Spend 95% of my time hanging out with these Two Crazy Pigs:
 This has been the only snow store of the year... and the kiddo was pretty excited.  What? You can't see the snow?  Yeah that's cause it snowed half a teaspoon. She still went to play in it though.  :)

And making a plan to make some moola, and save what we've got--per the staying on a budget goal.  Considering entering the 7th level of hell and substitute teaching one day a week.  

Maybe someday I won't feel so crazy, and I'll actually start writing again (crossing my fingers I can make time tonight before I curl up into a ball and fall asleep).